{"id":84433,"date":"2023-04-30T05:10:00","date_gmt":"2023-04-30T05:10:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/arielle.com.au\/?p=84433"},"modified":"2023-11-14T05:53:37","modified_gmt":"2023-11-14T05:53:37","slug":"toxic-boss","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/arielle.com.au\/toxic-boss\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Identify (And Deal With) A Toxic Boss"},"content":{"rendered":"<span class=\"span-reading-time rt-reading-time\" style=\"display: block;\"><span class=\"rt-label rt-prefix\">Reading Time: <\/span> <span class=\"rt-time\"> 9<\/span> <span class=\"rt-label rt-postfix\">minutes<\/span><\/span>\n<p>Are you dealing with a toxic boss? Many of us are familiar with this situation. You&#8217;ve landed your dream job and love every second. However, time passes, and you realise your manager is exhibiting all the classic signs of a toxic boss.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This can be an alarming realisation. But there are also several traps along the way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Today, I\u2019ll explore the behaviours that distinguish toxic managers. I&#8217;ll also help you reduce the chances of misinterpreting your own opportunities for improvement as &#8220;toxic boss&#8221; behaviours.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>(Related: <a href=\"https:\/\/arielle.com.au\/hidden-job-market\/\">How To Tap Into Australia&#8217;s Hidden Job Market<\/a>).<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:40px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>How Many &#8220;Toxic&#8221; Bosses Have You Had?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Before you label your boss &#8220;toxic&#8221;, you must rule out the possibility that you&#8217;re the root cause of the problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This might not be the advice you want to hear, but the advice you need. Ask yourself:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"indent-wrapper\"><div class=\"indented-text\"><span>How many &#8220;toxic bosses&#8221; have you had?<\/span><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p> Look for evidence of a pattern.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We all have a friend with a streak of relationships that haven&#8217;t worked out, and each time the other person was to blame:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"arrow-wrapper\"><div class=\"arrow-list\"><ul><li>&#8220;<strong>He<\/strong> was self-aware enough.&#8221;<\/li><li>&#8220;<strong>She <\/strong>wasn&#8217;t someone I could trust.&#8221;<\/li><li>&#8220;<strong>Total<\/strong> narcissist.&#8221;<\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>(Related: <a href=\"https:\/\/arielle.com.au\/how-to-build-relationships-at-work\/\">How To Build Strong Workplace Relationships<\/a>).<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Eventually, people who are stuck in these patterns create generalised, irrational, yet psychologically comfortable beliefs that shield them from the pain of examining their own behaviour:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"arrow-wrapper\"><div class=\"arrow-list\"><ul><li>&#8220;<strong>All<\/strong> <strong>men<\/strong> are assholes.&#8221;<\/li><li>&#8220;<strong>All<\/strong> <strong>women<\/strong> are bitches.&#8221;<\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>The same thing happens in the workplace, and you&#8217;re not immune to it. None of us are. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-create-block-tip-block tip-wrapper\"><div class=\"row\"><div class=\"col-md-12\"><div class=\"card-wrapper\"><div class=\"card-title\"><div class=\"icon\"><svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"20\" height=\"20\" viewBox=\"0 0 20 20\" fill=\"none\"><path fill-rule=\"evenodd\" clip-rule=\"evenodd\" d=\"M7.5 14.33a5 5 0 1 1 5 0v4.17h-5v-4.17Zm4.25-1.3-.75.44V17H9v-3.53l-.75-.44a3.5 3.5 0 1 1 3.5 0Z\" fill=\"#656E83\"><\/path><path d=\"M9.25 1v2h1.5V1h-1.5ZM5.53 4.47l-1.5-1.5-1.06 1.06 1.5 1.5 1.06-1.06ZM15.53 5.53l1.5-1.5-1.06-1.06-1.5 1.5 1.06 1.06ZM1 10.75h2v-1.5H1v1.5ZM17 10.75h2v-1.5h-2v1.5Z\" fill=\"#656E83\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><h3 placeholder=\"Tip Title Goes Here\">Expert Tip.<\/h3><\/div><div class=\"card-content\"><p placeholder=\"Tip Content Goes Here\">Just as you would be sceptical about a date complaining about their previous &#8220;bad&#8221; partners, you need to be sceptical about your temptations to label your previous bosses as &#8220;toxic&#8221;.<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:45px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Have The Humility To Look At Yourself First. <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>If you&#8217;ve experienced several workplaces as &#8220;toxic,&#8221; you may be in a self-destructive pattern. For example:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:55px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>1. Your Boss Is Micromanaging. <\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Are you delivering work of the right standard and on time? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you have a reputation for delivering sub-par work and\/or lateness, you&#8217;ll likely experience a punctual, goal-focused boss as a &#8220;micromanager&#8221;.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:55px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>2. Your Boss Is Critical. <\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Don&#8217;t fall into the trap of thinking that all conversations with your boss will be comfortable. Your boss is there to help you stretch, develop and grow. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Change is uncomfortable. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Is it possible that you&#8217;ve joined a high-performance organisation but are not exhibiting a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.intelligentchange.com\/blogs\/read\/what-is-growth-mindset-and-how-to-achieve-it\">growth mindset<\/a>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:55px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>3. Your Boss Is Incompetent.<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Overestimating your abilities and believing you can do your boss&#8217; job better is a common trap (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.atlassian.com\/blog\/productivity\/dunning-kruger-effect\">what is the Dunning-Kruger effect?<\/a>). <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We live in a world where everyday people believe they can manage global pandemics and solve climate change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p> Is it possible that your confidence is, in fact, hubris based on your low-resolution view of the business?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>(Related: <a href=\"https:\/\/arielle.com.au\/dealing-with-difficult-people-at-work\/\">How To Deal With Difficult People At Work<\/a>).<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:45px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>But Studies Prove That Majority Of Bosses Are Toxic!<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Most articles on the topic breathlessly exclaim that &#8220;76% of bosses are toxic&#8221;, citing a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.monster.com\/career-advice\/article\/former-boss-job-interview\">&#8220;study&#8221; by Monster.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Take a breath if you&#8217;re tempted to use this as overwhelming evidence for why all your previous bosses have been toxic. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As always, the devil is in the details.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:10px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-uagb-image uagb-block-9a7f4e2b wp-block-uagb-image--layout-default wp-block-uagb-image--effect-static wp-block-uagb-image--align-none\"><figure class=\"wp-block-uagb-image__figure\"><img decoding=\"async\" srcset=\"https:\/\/arielle.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/toxic-boss-survey-1024x790.jpg \" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 480px) 150px\" src=\"https:\/\/arielle.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/toxic-boss-survey-1024x790.jpg\" alt=\"toxic boss survey\" class=\"uag-image-84487\" width=\"1024\" height=\"790\" title=\"\" loading=\"lazy\"\/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"arrow-wrapper\"><div class=\"arrow-list\"><ul><li><strong style=\"color: initial; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, &quot;Segoe UI&quot;, Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, &quot;Helvetica Neue&quot;, sans-serif;\">Polls are not serious &#8220;studies&#8221;.<\/strong><span style=\"color: initial; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, &quot;Segoe UI&quot;, Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, &quot;Helvetica Neue&quot;, sans-serif;\"> Unless the sample was randomly selected, the data is not reliable. Monster didn&#8217;t reveal its data collection method; we can&#8217;t assess sampling bias without it.<\/span><\/li><li><strong>Self-reported polls are vulnerable<\/strong> to the cognitive biases I described above. They measure perceptions &#8211; not observed, in-context behaviours. <\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-create-block-tip-block tip-wrapper\"><div class=\"row\"><div class=\"col-md-12\"><div class=\"card-wrapper\"><div class=\"card-title\"><div class=\"icon\"><svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"20\" height=\"20\" viewBox=\"0 0 20 20\" fill=\"none\"><path fill-rule=\"evenodd\" clip-rule=\"evenodd\" d=\"M7.5 14.33a5 5 0 1 1 5 0v4.17h-5v-4.17Zm4.25-1.3-.75.44V17H9v-3.53l-.75-.44a3.5 3.5 0 1 1 3.5 0Z\" fill=\"#656E83\"><\/path><path d=\"M9.25 1v2h1.5V1h-1.5ZM5.53 4.47l-1.5-1.5-1.06 1.06 1.5 1.5 1.06-1.06ZM15.53 5.53l1.5-1.5-1.06-1.06-1.5 1.5 1.06 1.06ZM1 10.75h2v-1.5H1v1.5ZM17 10.75h2v-1.5h-2v1.5Z\" fill=\"#656E83\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><h3 placeholder=\"Tip Title Goes Here\">Important!<\/h3><\/div><div class=\"card-content\"><p placeholder=\"Tip Content Goes Here\">Yes, Monster.com made a basic arithmetic error. While the tally of respondents who described their bosses as toxic added to 72%, Monster.com published the number as 76%.<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:40px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Why Are You Defending Bosses?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>I&#8217;m not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Idiotic, parasitic, incompetent, self-aggrandising bosses certainly exist, and I&#8217;ll teach you how to deal with them in a moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But most of us get in our own way far more often than bosses do. And I want to teach you how to get out of own way first.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"arrow-wrapper\"><div class=\"arrow-list\"><ul><li><strong>Building awareness of behaviours<\/strong> that sabotage us is the #1 predictor of career success.<\/li><li><strong>Reflexively blaming others<\/strong> is the #1 predictor of career stagnation.<\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>Unfortunately, mainstream media signal-boosts the latter type of thinking &#8211; because high performance is rare, and targeting rare people is not profitable when you&#8217;re selling pageviews.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"indent-wrapper\"><div class=\"indented-text\"><span>High-performance individuals think differently. They reflexively look inwards first, to see how they can take responsibility for the issue.<\/span><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>Once they rule out the possibility that they&#8217;re the root cause, they look for ways to reshape their external environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>(Related: <a href=\"https:\/\/arielle.com.au\/how-to-find-the-right-career-for-me\/\">What Is The Right Career For Me?<\/a>)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:41px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>How To Identify Toxic Behaviour.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Once you&#8217;ve ruled out the possibility that you&#8217;re taking yourself off the hook for your own underperformance, review your boss&#8217; behaviour.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Whilst there is no clear definition, there are some clear warning signs of a toxic leader and a toxic professional environment:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"arrow-wrapper\"><div class=\"arrow-list\"><ul><li><strong>Boss berating you or others<\/strong> in a public forum.<\/li><li><strong>Boss physically or emotionally <\/strong>intimidating team members.\u00a0<\/li><li><strong>Aggressive<\/strong>, rude, apathetic, contemptuous behaviour.\u00a0<\/li><li><strong>Lying<\/strong>.<\/li><li><strong>Unpredictability<\/strong> (e.g., fits of rage followed by charming and kind behaviour).<\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>More nuanced behaviours, which you must assess in the appropriate context, are:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"arrow-wrapper\"><div class=\"arrow-list\"><ul><li><strong>Your boss contacts<\/strong> you outside of work hours (though this is the norm in investment banking).<\/li><li><strong>Huge demands<\/strong> are made upon your workload (though this is the norm in early-stage startups).<\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>Qualities of a toxic boss include:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"arrow-wrapper\"><div class=\"arrow-list\"><ul><li><strong>Blaming:<\/strong> Rather than accepting responsibility, toxic boss convinces themselves they behave this way due to the behaviour of those around them. They consistently blame others for challenges that arise.<\/li><li><strong>Manipulative:<\/strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.newportinstitute.com\/resources\/mental-health\/what_is_gaslighting_abuse\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><u>Gaslighting<\/u><\/a> is a clear sign of a toxic boss.\u00a0<\/li><li><strong>Narcissistic:<\/strong> Certain toxic bosses cannot empathise with others or connect from a place of care. Whilst toxic bosses may exhibit narcissistic behaviours, true <a href=\"https:\/\/www.helpguide.org\/articles\/mental-disorders\/narcissistic-personality-disorder.htm\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><u>narcissism is a personality disorder<\/u><\/a> psychology professionals diagnose.\u00a0<\/li><li><strong>Negativity: <\/strong>Toxic bosses are often negative people. They need to nitpick and criticise other people, berate friends, or speak ill of those they barely know.\u00a0<\/li><li><strong>Unapologetic: <\/strong>When toxic people lash out at their loved ones, they\u2019re unlikely ever to apologise or see what they\u2019ve done as wrong. This is likely because their self-worth is bound up in thinking they must be right at all costs.\u00a0<\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>Unfortunately, all it takes is one toxic individual in a managerial position to permeate workplace culture thoroughly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>(Related: <a href=\"https:\/\/arielle.com.au\/hardest-jobs-in-the-world\/\">What Are The Hardest Jobs In The World?<\/a>)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:40px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Why Are Some Individuals Toxic?&nbsp;<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Ultimately, it comes down to self-awareness. Lack of self-awareness often correlates with fear of vulnerability and loss of control, two traits powerful bosses can be reluctant to accept.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Those with a wide-lens view of themselves and their relationships are less likely to reduce toxic behaviours, as they understand how they can affect others.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Genuinely caring, supportive bosses know how to maintain the following:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:55px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>1.  Self-Management.<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"arrow-wrapper\"><div class=\"arrow-list\"><ul><li><strong>Emotional<\/strong> self-control.<\/li><li><strong>Adaptability<\/strong>: flexibility in adapting to changing situations and obstacles.<\/li><li><strong>Integrity<\/strong>, honesty, trustworthiness.<\/li><li><strong>Optimism<\/strong> in the face of stress and challenge.<\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:55px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>2.  Social Awareness.<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"arrow-wrapper\"><div class=\"arrow-list\"><ul><li><strong>Empathy<\/strong> and insight.<\/li><li><strong>Understanding<\/strong> others\u2019 perspectives and feelings.<\/li><li><strong>Appreciation<\/strong> of others\u2019 strengths and weaknesses.<\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:55px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>3.  Relationship Management.<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"arrow-wrapper\"><div class=\"arrow-list\"><ul><li><strong>Respect<\/strong> for others.<\/li><li><strong>Conflict<\/strong> management skills.<\/li><li><strong>Collaborative<\/strong> approach.<\/li><li><strong>Sense <\/strong>of humour.<\/li><li><strong>Emotional<\/strong> intelligence.<\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:40px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>How To Deal With A Toxic Boss.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>If you&#8217;ve decided that your boss is clearly out of line, we&#8217;ve compiled a set of measures you can take to prevent this behaviour from continuing &#8211; professionally yet assertively.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-create-block-tip-block tip-wrapper\"><div class=\"row\"><div class=\"col-md-12\"><div class=\"card-wrapper\"><div class=\"card-title\"><div class=\"icon\"><svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"20\" height=\"20\" viewBox=\"0 0 20 20\" fill=\"none\"><path fill-rule=\"evenodd\" clip-rule=\"evenodd\" d=\"M7.5 14.33a5 5 0 1 1 5 0v4.17h-5v-4.17Zm4.25-1.3-.75.44V17H9v-3.53l-.75-.44a3.5 3.5 0 1 1 3.5 0Z\" fill=\"#656E83\"><\/path><path d=\"M9.25 1v2h1.5V1h-1.5ZM5.53 4.47l-1.5-1.5-1.06 1.06 1.5 1.5 1.06-1.06ZM15.53 5.53l1.5-1.5-1.06-1.06-1.5 1.5 1.06 1.06ZM1 10.75h2v-1.5H1v1.5ZM17 10.75h2v-1.5h-2v1.5Z\" fill=\"#656E83\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><h3 placeholder=\"Tip Title Goes Here\">Remember!<\/h3><\/div><div class=\"card-content\"><p placeholder=\"Tip Content Goes Here\">Your safety is critical above all else. Do not be afraid to ask for help from friends, family, and HR to navigate your situation.<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>The most crucial step is to start documenting behaviour. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Resist the temptation to record video-diary-style videos of yourself crying into your phone while recounting subjective anecdotes about &#8220;aggression&#8221; and &#8220;criticism&#8221;.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You need to collect non-subjective, empirical proof of lies, instances of undermining and unacceptable feedback styles. For example:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"arrow-wrapper\"><div class=\"arrow-list\"><ul><li><strong>CRM screenshot<\/strong> shows your sales target for January is $300,000. Two weeks later, a screenshot of an email from your boss claiming it was $350,000.<\/li><li><strong>Screenshot of a public-channel Slack message<\/strong> where your boss undermines you in front of your colleagues. <\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>Unfortunately, toxic behaviour often progresses. Having records of when it began, plus how it changed over time, is crucial, particularly if other team members are experiencing the same thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Safe Work Australia provides a comprehensive guideline <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.safeworkaustralia.gov.au\/sites\/default\/files\/2021-01\/workplace_violence_and_aggression_worker_information_sheet.pdf\"><u>here.<\/u><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:55px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>1.  Understand The Signs.<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Toxic bosses often <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/arielle.com.au\/transformational-leadership\/\"><u>lack practical leadership skills<\/u><\/a>. Circumstances that reveal a toxic boss in a work environment could include:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"arrow-wrapper\"><div class=\"arrow-list\"><ul><li><strong>Micromanaging: <\/strong>Your boss could hassle you to track each task at every moment of the day or legally monitor your screen to see what you are doing. Yes, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.hallpayne.com.au\/blog\/2022\/april\/surveillance-device-monitoring\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener nofollow\"><u>this is allowed!<\/u><\/a><\/li><li><strong>Realistic expectations:<\/strong> Your boss may disrespect your personal limitations or work capacity, underestimating how long tasks take and forcing them, anyway.\u00a0<\/li><li><strong>Zero recognition:<\/strong> If your boss rarely supports your wins, encourages or empowers you but instead takes opportunities to tear you down; this is a pretty clear sign.\u00a0<\/li><li><strong>Poor communication skills:<\/strong> Toxic behaviour includes poor communication skills, which leads to unclear expectations, inconsistent feedback, and a lack of transparency among employees.<\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-create-block-tip-block tip-wrapper\"><div class=\"row\"><div class=\"col-md-12\"><div class=\"card-wrapper\"><div class=\"card-title\"><div class=\"icon\"><svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"20\" height=\"20\" viewBox=\"0 0 20 20\" fill=\"none\"><path fill-rule=\"evenodd\" clip-rule=\"evenodd\" d=\"M7.5 14.33a5 5 0 1 1 5 0v4.17h-5v-4.17Zm4.25-1.3-.75.44V17H9v-3.53l-.75-.44a3.5 3.5 0 1 1 3.5 0Z\" fill=\"#656E83\"><\/path><path d=\"M9.25 1v2h1.5V1h-1.5ZM5.53 4.47l-1.5-1.5-1.06 1.06 1.5 1.5 1.06-1.06ZM15.53 5.53l1.5-1.5-1.06-1.06-1.5 1.5 1.06 1.06ZM1 10.75h2v-1.5H1v1.5ZM17 10.75h2v-1.5h-2v1.5Z\" fill=\"#656E83\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><h3 placeholder=\"Tip Title Goes Here\">Expert Tip.<\/h3><\/div><div class=\"card-content\"><p placeholder=\"Tip Content Goes Here\">If you\u2019re new to a workplace, be sure to watch the behaviour of other long-standing employees. Their reactions will clarify the dynamic with the boss.<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:55px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>2.  Decide If You Should Quit.<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>In most circumstances, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.betterup.com\/blog\/should-i-quit-my-job\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><u>quitting your job before things escalate<\/u><\/a> is a valid option.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>High-performance employees leave toxic work environments. If you stay, you will deal with your boss, plus a hollowed-out pool of colleagues that has experienced &#8220;brain drain&#8221;.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This typically leads to a spiral of amplified toxic behaviours that lead to more resignations, and so on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you are not yet financially able to leave, or decide to &#8220;ride it out&#8221;, follow the tips below to handle the situation in a professional way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>(Related: <a href=\"https:\/\/arielle.com.au\/resignation-letter-template\/\">How To Write A Resignation Letter<\/a>).<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:55px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>3.  Remain Professional.<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>A toxic situation can make your work life much more complex than it needs to be. However, the last thing you want to do is stoop to their level.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Escalating a situation or matching your boss&#8217;s aggression could cause more drama or result in you being fired. <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/link.springer.com\/article\/10.1007\/s10551-022-05184-0\"><u>This meta-analysis<\/u><\/a> dissects the damaging effects of aggression on organisational culture.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Instead, you can:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"arrow-wrapper\"><div class=\"arrow-list\"><ul><li><strong>Calmly and discreetly<\/strong>, refuse to engage in this behaviour.<\/li><li><strong>Keep focused <\/strong>on your workload.<\/li><li><strong>Be kind<\/strong> and helpful to your teammates.<\/li><li><strong>As much as possible<\/strong>, keep emotions out of it.<\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:55px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>4.  Try Not To Take Things Personally.<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Some toxic bosses may insult their employees personally to reduce their confidence and further assert their control.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The adage, \u2018hurt people hurt people,\u2019 has been explored extensively through psychology studies like <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedirect.com\/science\/article\/pii\/S2352250X17300611\"><u>this.<\/u><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>All you can do is let comments roll off your shoulder and move forward as best as possible.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We love <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/declutterthemind.com\/blog\/how-to-stop-taking-things-personally\/\"><u>these ten tangible steps<\/u><\/a> for developing a thicker skin in the workplace, a skill that will serve you well outside work!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:55px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>5.  Vent Outside Of Work.<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Sometimes, being professional can only help you deal with a toxic boss so much. You\u2019re a human who deserves to be heard and understood in your struggles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019re experiencing a toxic workplace, lean on those around you.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This could look like this:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"arrow-wrapper\"><div class=\"arrow-list\"><ul><li><strong>Phone calls<\/strong> with trusted friends.<\/li><li><strong>Venting to family members<\/strong> who understand you (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.aconsciousrethink.com\/18425\/how-to-vent\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><u>these tips on healthy venting<\/u><\/a> are great).<\/li><li><strong>A therapy session with a professional <\/strong>to support your mental health; you can engage in free online services <a href=\"https:\/\/www.beyondblue.org.au\/get-support\/talk-to-a-counsellor\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><u>here.<\/u><\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-create-block-tip-block tip-wrapper\"><div class=\"row\"><div class=\"col-md-12\"><div class=\"card-wrapper\"><div class=\"card-title\"><div class=\"icon\"><svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"20\" height=\"20\" viewBox=\"0 0 20 20\" fill=\"none\"><path fill-rule=\"evenodd\" clip-rule=\"evenodd\" d=\"M7.5 14.33a5 5 0 1 1 5 0v4.17h-5v-4.17Zm4.25-1.3-.75.44V17H9v-3.53l-.75-.44a3.5 3.5 0 1 1 3.5 0Z\" fill=\"#656E83\"><\/path><path d=\"M9.25 1v2h1.5V1h-1.5ZM5.53 4.47l-1.5-1.5-1.06 1.06 1.5 1.5 1.06-1.06ZM15.53 5.53l1.5-1.5-1.06-1.06-1.5 1.5 1.06 1.06ZM1 10.75h2v-1.5H1v1.5ZM17 10.75h2v-1.5h-2v1.5Z\" fill=\"#656E83\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><h3 placeholder=\"Tip Title Goes Here\">Important!<\/h3><\/div><div class=\"card-content\"><p placeholder=\"Tip Content Goes Here\">Our advice is to keep your venting outside the office. Some coworkers may report your comments to your boss, making you an even bigger target for your boss&#8217;s abuse.<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:55px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>6.  Focus On Adapting.<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s worth saying that you might want to adapt to your boss&#8217;s leadership style.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Now, this doesn&#8217;t excuse a toxic boss&#8217;s behaviour or make it worth ignoring; you should still follow our other steps to approach the situation.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>An effective way to start is to imagine seeing the workplace from your boss&#8217;s point of view.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Some questions to ask are:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"arrow-wrapper\"><div class=\"arrow-list\"><ul><li><strong>What do they genuinely care <\/strong>about?<\/li><li><strong>What would they love <\/strong>more in the workplace?\u00a0<\/li><li><strong>What would<\/strong> they love less daily?\u00a0\u00a0<\/li><li><strong>How much importance<\/strong> do they place on impressing others?\u00a0<\/li><li><strong>How do they measure<\/strong> success?<\/li><li><strong>What constitutes<\/strong> failure for them?\u00a0<\/li><li><strong>What are they afraid<\/strong> of?<\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>Learning to adapt, levelling up your skill set and tackling your workload with grace and professionalism could be an effective short-term solution if you need to stay in your current position.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Adapting your work style could also be helpful for future roles where flexibility is critical.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:55px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>7.  Look For Work Friends.<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Sometimes, the best way to deal with a toxic boss is to connect with the other people in your department who can relate to the stress and discomfort.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You don&#8217;t have to be best friends or spend regular time with these individuals. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, you should have a group of colleagues with whom you can leave the office and grab a coffee when times are particularly stressful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Studies have found that we&#8217;re empowered to do our best work around supportive people. Friendship at work can also <a href=\"https:\/\/wavelength.asana.com\/workstyle-friends-at-work\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><u>boost employee satisfaction by up to 50%<\/u><\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-create-block-tip-block tip-wrapper\"><div class=\"row\"><div class=\"col-md-12\"><div class=\"card-wrapper\"><div class=\"card-title\"><div class=\"icon\"><svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"20\" height=\"20\" viewBox=\"0 0 20 20\" fill=\"none\"><path fill-rule=\"evenodd\" clip-rule=\"evenodd\" d=\"M7.5 14.33a5 5 0 1 1 5 0v4.17h-5v-4.17Zm4.25-1.3-.75.44V17H9v-3.53l-.75-.44a3.5 3.5 0 1 1 3.5 0Z\" fill=\"#656E83\"><\/path><path d=\"M9.25 1v2h1.5V1h-1.5ZM5.53 4.47l-1.5-1.5-1.06 1.06 1.5 1.5 1.06-1.06ZM15.53 5.53l1.5-1.5-1.06-1.06-1.5 1.5 1.06 1.06ZM1 10.75h2v-1.5H1v1.5ZM17 10.75h2v-1.5h-2v1.5Z\" fill=\"#656E83\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><h3 placeholder=\"Tip Title Goes Here\">Expert tip.<\/h3><\/div><div class=\"card-content\"><p placeholder=\"Tip Content Goes Here\">If you know of others in the same situation, message them privately to check in occasionally, and be sure they have support around them, too.\u00a0<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:55px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>8.  Talk To HR.<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>If, after all your efforts, you are still managing toxic behaviour from your boss and unwarranted aggression, manipulation, or attacks, you may need to approach your human resources (HR) department.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Globally, <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ilo.org\/global\/about-the-ilo\/newsroom\/news\/WCMS_863177\/lang--en\/index.htm\"><u>17.9% of employed men and women<\/u><\/a> report having experienced psychological violence and harassment. <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.fool.com\/careers\/2019\/04\/11\/6-times-you-should-talk-to-human-resources.aspx\"><u>Talking to HR<\/u><\/a> is vital if you feel unsafe in the workplace.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The HR department\u2019s role is to:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"arrow-wrapper\"><div class=\"arrow-list\"><ul><li><strong>Take<\/strong> a record of the behaviour.\u00a0<\/li><li><strong>Informing <\/strong>your boss of their unprofessional behaviour.<\/li><li><strong>Warn<\/strong> your boss of the consequences.<\/li><li><strong>Devise <\/strong>a management plan in place to resolve the issue.<\/li><li><strong>Mediate<\/strong> any communications between yourself and your boss.<\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-create-block-tip-block tip-wrapper\"><div class=\"row\"><div class=\"col-md-12\"><div class=\"card-wrapper\"><div class=\"card-title\"><div class=\"icon\"><svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"20\" height=\"20\" viewBox=\"0 0 20 20\" fill=\"none\"><path fill-rule=\"evenodd\" clip-rule=\"evenodd\" d=\"M7.5 14.33a5 5 0 1 1 5 0v4.17h-5v-4.17Zm4.25-1.3-.75.44V17H9v-3.53l-.75-.44a3.5 3.5 0 1 1 3.5 0Z\" fill=\"#656E83\"><\/path><path d=\"M9.25 1v2h1.5V1h-1.5ZM5.53 4.47l-1.5-1.5-1.06 1.06 1.5 1.5 1.06-1.06ZM15.53 5.53l1.5-1.5-1.06-1.06-1.5 1.5 1.06 1.06ZM1 10.75h2v-1.5H1v1.5ZM17 10.75h2v-1.5h-2v1.5Z\" fill=\"#656E83\"><\/path><\/svg><\/div><h3 placeholder=\"Tip Title Goes Here\">Important!<\/h3><\/div><div class=\"card-content\"><p placeholder=\"Tip Content Goes Here\">If you can\u2019t approach HR, you should approach your boss&#8217;s boss or one of the business&#8217;s senior leaders for advice.\u00a0<\/p><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>We understand these options may not be available depending on your circumstances. If you decide to talk to HR, present your documented behaviour as evidence.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:55px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>9.  Create An Exit Plan.<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Whilst you might initially decide to stay at a job for financial reasons, after some time, if your <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.wondermind.com\/article\/should-i-quit-my-job\/\"><u>mental health is deteriorating<\/u><\/a> or your tactics are not working, it\u2019s time to create a plan to exit the environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Our tips:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"arrow-wrapper\"><div class=\"arrow-list\"><ul><li><strong>Start<\/strong> looking for a new job as soon as possible.\u00a0<\/li><li><strong>Refresh<\/strong> your resume (<a href=\"https:\/\/arielle.com.au\/resume-writing-tips\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><u>our tips are here!<\/u><\/a>) and send these to your favourite companies or local options in a printed format.\u00a0<\/li><li><strong>Build up your emergency savings<\/strong> to support you during any unforeseen break between an old and new job.\u00a0<\/li><li><strong>Reach out<\/strong> to your connections on LinkedIn to gauge if there are any available roles.\u00a0<\/li><li><strong>Pick up a part-time position <\/strong>to keep you busy whilst your job search!<\/li><li><strong>Take some time<\/strong> to rest and recover.\u00a0<\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>(Related: <a href=\"https:\/\/arielle.com.au\/how-to-turn-down-a-job-offer\/\">The Tactful Way To Turn Down A Job Offer)<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:55px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>How Will You Deal With A Toxic Environment?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Most people will have to deal with a toxic boss at some point in their careers. It can be a tremendous growth opportunity, particularly early in your career, by learning to stand up for your worth and assert your boundaries.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you&#8217;re reading this and currently facing this situation, consider whether quitting is an option. If not, ensure you can do everything possible to reduce the behaviour or prove to your boss that your work ethic and quality do not deserve mistreatment. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Then, approach HR before finally creating an exit plan to leave.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Rest assured, you have options, and the situation is temporary. Through this, you will become stronger, more resilient, and equipped to face any toxic professional you encounter again!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Steven<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:30px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p><span class=\"span-reading-time rt-reading-time\" style=\"display: block;\"><span class=\"rt-label rt-prefix\">Reading Time: <\/span> <span class=\"rt-time\"> 9<\/span> <span class=\"rt-label rt-postfix\">minutes<\/span><\/span>Are you dealing with a toxic boss? Many of us are familiar with this situation. You&#8217;ve landed your dream job<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":84468,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[4,270],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-84433","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-career","category-career-development"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>How To Identify (And Deal With) A Toxic Boss<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Learn strategies for handling a difficult and toxic boss, maintain your well-being and decide whether you need to leave the company.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, 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